Building a relationship with children can be arduous: sometimes, you naturally connect, and everything moves like a breeze. On other occasions, it feels strenuous since the child is not ready to deal with your version of you, and due to which you do not connect. However, when you do create a bond with them, the feeling is extraordinary.
Such is the impact of loving someone and creating a bond with them. You impact them; help them be the better versions of themselves, and work forward towards their constructive building into a better, more productive personality.
Even Children who have bad attitudes or bully-like personalities can change. They need a mentor, someone who can visually understand them, notice with only their actions if something is wrong, so to help accordingly.
And this is where it becomes essential for an adult to establish a bond with a child. And While some interact effortlessly, others need to create a little trust. So, to produce that connection (—whether you provide nanny services or are work at childcare or teach at school), apply one of these to better interact with children.
Try asking questions not related to School and Academics.
Avoid asking questions related to School; unless it is essential or if a child wishes to tell you him or herself. Because Chances are school/academics might have stressed them to a point where they no longer want to conversate about it.
Instead, try asking about things that they were happy to experience that day. For instance, ask the fun games and activities they performed that day. And the drama and excitement that came with it—kids always have something exciting to share.
Also, focus on asking questions that help them release the Negative hormones from their body—not those that add to it. By doing so, you are encouraging them to share their feelings and help in building your relationship with your child.
Figure out what they like
Try figuring out topics that children like, what interests them? By figuring out their interest, you let them know that you have similar interests. And that you genuinely care about their likes and dislike. Communicating more helps a child open up to different features of their personality and hence aids you in bettering your relationship with them.
Remember the Little Things
Try keeping up with their life. What are their goals? And how are they going about it? Also, try asking about the events taking place in their lives, such as the soccer match they recently had or the basketball practice for the big school event—their preparation for it and the kind of support they are getting in return. Keep in touch. It makes a child realize that someone genuinely cares about them and their events in life. Pave the way to find more about their life and their ambitions, this adds to the quality time you spend with each other.
Talk about your experience? Share something about your life.
Strengthen your relationship by telling real-life experiences (from preferably your own life) and try relating them to problems that they are facing in their life.
It would help them act smarter in such situations, knowing the solution you told them. (—and would act accordingly). Do not be biased nor tell them misleading facts; provide them your experience, only if you think it will positively help them.
Participate in their daily activities
You can also strengthen your relationship by participating in their daily activities. If you are familiar with an activity a child is involved in, you can help them get better at it. For instance, tell them that they can learn intricate skills by doing it every day for a certain period (27 days in many cases)—known as persistence or repetition.
Avoid being bookish while doing so, or you might come out flat out boring. Just chop the concept into simpler terms, something the kid can easily understand and have fun while applying.
Relate their interests to your lessons
What children get drawn to, they will do with great motivation. Use their interest as your weapon. Try and insert their interests into your lessons. And, if executed properly, you will see a driving increase in their productivity, allowing them to work and achieve more. Once a child accomplishes a goal, they will set up new and refined goals.
Be an inspiring Figure.
Try to be someone kids look up to and have as their ideals, prominently In the way you talk, the way you dress, the way you speak out your opinions. Kids, even if young and immature, do notice such qualities. Try to inspire them with your creativity, your passion, and your persistence.
Children need to look up to something. This can either be it a positive influencer they interact with on a day to day basis or a social media personality that teaches them nothing but false-words and a worse attitude.
Apologize when you mess up
One can strengthen their parent-child relationship by realizing and apologizing to children when they know they messed up—instead of scratching their heads and finding logic to cover up for what they did.
A heartfelt apology is much better than ignoring the fact that you have done something wrong. It also creates a sense of empathy, which converts the hurt into forgiveness. Opposingly, at failing to do so, one might pass the habit onto children, causing them to ignore the possibility of saying sorry when there genuinely exists one.
Listen to what they have to say.
Give an ear to what a child has to say, be it their everyday experience or the occasional fairy tales made up in their mind. Add into the story, become as much a part of it they are, and use their creative imagination, with slight edits, to teach a valuable lesson. Listen to their likes and dislikes, and ask them their reasons. Avoid interrupting them; be like an elderly couple: one where both add to the conversation, and neither husband nor the wife talks over each other.
Also, make the conversation seem as if you were a child, or they, an adult— Because when kids see themselves as being talked to as an adult, they think of themselves as one. Also, With this belief comes an extra ounce of concentration and trust that aids them to work on your advice with more sincerity.
Children crave happiness and positivity. Things falling under that regime, they accept, and those that are Terrible bores, they refuse. It is as simple if you are a social butterfly, yet as mind-boggling and arduous if you are a straight out bore, somewhat like me.
And in that case, be yourself: Avoid being somebody you are not—Even if your personality is not as expressive as others, kids detect that. Instead, be your kind of fun—It has the fizz that your cool buddies do not. Just make sure your impact is positive and constructive in building their personality.
So, be fun. It helps in boosting a child's creativity and updates their desire to learn more, interact more, and hence create a bond. Being fun helps them consider you more than an adult trying to teach them something. It assists them to see you as their friend and builds on your relationship with them.
Mandatory advice for a parent: Try spending more time with your child
A no-brainer: the more time you spend with your child, the stronger the bond you are creating. Quality time with your child refers to them opening up about the ongoing scheme of things going on in their life. And even if they are not particularly interested in sharing, they will eventually open up when you spend more time together. This will strengthen your child's ability to bond with you and would prevent them from craving outside attention for personal problems.
So gather time when you can and talk; engage with them for 10 minutes, but engage regularly. And you will find yourself sharing your feelings with your child by removing any toxins and stress you inhaled during work. Thus not only will it build your relationship with your child, but also helps out in many other ways.
One can also strengthen their parent-child relationship by building a stage of trust (something I have mentioned elsewhere in this article). Why I put such emphasis on this? Because trust creates a bridge that a child is not afraid nor shy or embarrassed to walk upon.
Additionally, avoid scolding them(—even if it's mere sarcasm, a good laugh is okay, but you must try to understand them, it does not mean you become an " I'm so nice, I literally don't say anything at all" kind of person, no.
Instead, try to, at least, understand them and educate them before taking another step, and possibly warn them if it's not the right way to go to. Unaimed scolding is the last thing parent-child relationships need, so try to emphasize it.
Every child deserves attention, care, and love, and every parent/guardian/family is responsible for providing them those. Quality time with children conditions their personality. Children who spend quality time with their parents are less likely to engage in the wrong environment or take on risky behaviors (—such as alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs). So, a child needs to spend more quality time with their parents (—not compromise their parent-child relationship through being ignorance).